So I used to blog, and then got into Tumblr and never came back.. until now when I needed a place to vent without my friends seeing it.
So I have this Friend, let's call her Leslie, and she's sort of in love (I guess) with my other friend... Sadie, sure, let's call her Sadie. Anyway, they've been best friends for about 7 years and Sadie is very free, doesn't overthink things, just sort of flows through life. Leslie, on the other hand is like: Wait, where are you going? Remember when we used to be best friends? I miss that. I love you, come back and is sort of jealous and sad and confused. Is it friend-type love or is she, like, in love romantically with Sadie..? She doesn't know aside from that fact that she feels strongly and doesn't want to lose her.
So I'm here, in Iowa, like "Wait, so... why does not one love me and get jealous over me?" Oh, right, because I'm an awkward child incapable of making and sustaining relationships, gotcha.
And all of a sudden I'm sort of jealous. Why doesn't Leslie love me? Leslie's nice, and pretty, and funny, and we're pretty good friends. Why isn't she jealous of me and miss me? I don't think I have feelings for her.. And it's definitely not like I want to date in high school.. but. I dunno. I want someone to want me. I want someone who wants to spend time with me, who wants to talk to me, who goes to me first. I'm friendly with everyone, and I get along with most people, but I don't really have a lot of solid friends. If anything, I have maybe... one. Leslie.
You see, I moved to Iowa about a year ago from Arizona and in that year everyone seems to have changed. My friend... Kara, sure, she fell in love and got all mushy over this guy and it was long distance and it didn't work out (shocker). So now she's all heartbroken and doesn't care about anything else other than Why doesn't he loooooooooooooove me? which I find to be obnoxious. Sadie is... well, Sadie. I doubt she'll ever change from her silly, free-flowing self. But she doesn't really call much, she's easily distracted and just forgets to call. And Leslie, well, Leslie's got "home issues" and is in love with Sadie, which reasonably takes up a lot of time.
And I'm here. Alone. In Iowa. With no friends. Womp womp womp.
Making friends? Not easy in a town of <9,000 people who've all known each other since they were 2.
I have one more year until I leave for college and then hopefully things will change. Until then, I need to maintain my sanity.
So I have this Friend, let's call her Leslie, and she's sort of in love (I guess) with my other friend... Sadie, sure, let's call her Sadie. Anyway, they've been best friends for about 7 years and Sadie is very free, doesn't overthink things, just sort of flows through life. Leslie, on the other hand is like: Wait, where are you going? Remember when we used to be best friends? I miss that. I love you, come back and is sort of jealous and sad and confused. Is it friend-type love or is she, like, in love romantically with Sadie..? She doesn't know aside from that fact that she feels strongly and doesn't want to lose her.
So I'm here, in Iowa, like "Wait, so... why does not one love me and get jealous over me?" Oh, right, because I'm an awkward child incapable of making and sustaining relationships, gotcha.
And all of a sudden I'm sort of jealous. Why doesn't Leslie love me? Leslie's nice, and pretty, and funny, and we're pretty good friends. Why isn't she jealous of me and miss me? I don't think I have feelings for her.. And it's definitely not like I want to date in high school.. but. I dunno. I want someone to want me. I want someone who wants to spend time with me, who wants to talk to me, who goes to me first. I'm friendly with everyone, and I get along with most people, but I don't really have a lot of solid friends. If anything, I have maybe... one. Leslie.
You see, I moved to Iowa about a year ago from Arizona and in that year everyone seems to have changed. My friend... Kara, sure, she fell in love and got all mushy over this guy and it was long distance and it didn't work out (shocker). So now she's all heartbroken and doesn't care about anything else other than Why doesn't he loooooooooooooove me? which I find to be obnoxious. Sadie is... well, Sadie. I doubt she'll ever change from her silly, free-flowing self. But she doesn't really call much, she's easily distracted and just forgets to call. And Leslie, well, Leslie's got "home issues" and is in love with Sadie, which reasonably takes up a lot of time.
And I'm here. Alone. In Iowa. With no friends. Womp womp womp.
Making friends? Not easy in a town of <9,000 people who've all known each other since they were 2.
I have one more year until I leave for college and then hopefully things will change. Until then, I need to maintain my sanity.
